It’s been a while. It’s been a while since I blogged, and even more of a while since I put pen to paper (now fingers to keyboard) and composed a poem. I almost thought I’d forgotten how, almost. So much so that I was hesitating to try, fearing I’d make a mess of it and dreading that my fears would come true. But then, something changed, I (wo)manned up and allowed myself to write not a whole lot but 4 lines, and, to not filter the topic that came to mind, and, finally not restrict the sharing online. So many ‘nots’ to deal with, naturally I experienced some tension. I’m learning though, to stay with my emotions. Even the unpleasant ones. To breathe into them, acknowledge them and then find the courage to move on despite and perhaps because of them. It’s helping.
So, here, I present to you, some lines that I wrote this evening. It’s incomplete, I will carry on, but I did want to put this out there in the state that it is. It’s important for me. To put myself out there even when I think I’m not quite sure. I’m surprisingly fairly okay with what I wrote. The judge within me has been unusually quiet this time around. I guess I’m learning to drop the quest for ‘perfectionism’ (as I perceive it). Recently, a friend said to me, ‘you’re being perfect these days’. My response, ‘oh no, I don’t want perfection dear’. Her response, ‘that’s why I said it, and not you.’ It took me a while to figure this one out. So, to her, I was perfect the way I was, in the manner I was behaving and making choices. Serenity came visiting briefly :-).
I’ll leave you to enjoy my poem….leave me your comments. I’d love that. And I’d love it if you checked back in for the next part soon ! I haven’t given it a title yet, perhaps once it’s complete.
“Today is a day, to me, as good as any other,
What then, is on your mind”, I warily ask her.
Her change of stance suggests perhaps something in her stirred,
Just then she turned to me and ever so softly whispered,
“Can you too see the joy I’ve kept for so long at bay,
Hoping upon hope that the past shall return to stay.
The paths of this day, I then so gingerly tread,
Unsure when those demons might raise their head.
The story I’m repeating is that this moment is safe,
Anywhere but here and I’m quite likely to chafe.
Perhaps they taught me that to hurt is bad,
A sensation to avoid, whether in excess or a tad.
Didn’t someone once say that it was alright for me to cry ,
Did they also say what I should do once my tears ran dry?…..